Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

The fact that I've asked for one thing over each year over the last few years and the fact that I'm still asking has diminished my belief in the spirit of Santa Clause.

So. This is officially your very last chance.

Here goes......

I want a man for Christmas. He doesn't have to be top of the line just top 20% or so. 

He needs to have a job, his shit in order, can support at least himself financially, no major issues or drama, has all his teeth or at least the appearance as such, most of the time, no over the top tattoos that can't be concealed as the need arises and the same goes for tattoos and just a MAN.

Don't get me wrong Santa if you could find a way to send me a rich, gorgeous guy, I'm not going to complain unless he's too stuck on himself to swoon over me and make me feel like a princess.

It's been a really long time since someone just wrapped me in their arms, wanted to be with him and touched me in all the right ways.

I know I'm a busy person, but a lot of what I do is fun and would be awesome to have someone that shares those interests that would make it even more fun.

I don't need a sugar daddy, but I'm damn sure not going to be a sugar momma either. 

I'm not getting any younger, Santa. I've been alone long enough and really do deserve someone to make me feel special.

I've tried everything on my own when you didn't grant the Christmas wish several years ago. 

I need someone that has patience, can keep up with me, put up with me and love me for who I am and realize that I am not nor is life perfect.

Sincerely your last chance,

ME!

So I understand some are looking for an update

Apparently a few people read this thing... One or two and those have asked where's the next adventure. What's going on now.

Well, lately there is no adventure and really there's not much going on.

I'm still single. I'm still stubborn and set in my ways and thus far haven't found a man up to the task and challenge.

I tried a summer romance with a younger man. I was set up by my bff. He turned out to be a flake and never found out what he was missing out on. I also found out later, it's probably for the best because, well bless his heart, just wasn't blessed in many ways.

I kind of figured as much and was beginning to wonder if I was going to get to break in my first virgin.

I did have a small adventure one night. I went to the casino to play a little poker. It was a crowded table, but there I found a seat between a couple of decent looking dudes, one older and one younger. I started out quiet and had a beer or two while my stack crew and dwindled.

The younger dude to my rights was also a bit quiet. There was an older gentleman to his right and a drunk one seat further. The dude to my left was only slightly older, a bit more comfortable in the city lifestyle than a country one it would appear. There was a hooker next to him, I really don't think I'm exaggerating, or being a smart ass, like at all!

The cards turned to SHIT! Then they decided to switch decks all together. I've seen the luck go both ways after they switch decks. It switched alright. Everyone at the table got paid. But drunk dude hit the damn royal flush and raked in close to $10K... Couldn't have been me damn it.

He bought drinks the rest of the night so I milked it. The more I drank the better looking and more flirty I was with the older city dude. We finally cut it at the table and moved to the bar. Where we ordered more drinks. He was hot by this time with the beer goggles turned up to at least 10.

I snuck a picture and texted my girlfriend who, what and where... Ya know in case I disappeared or something.

I finally told the dude I was drunk he was buying the room and loaded his ass up. I had fun, pretty sure he was ok with it too. Did the walk of shame the next morning around the back exit of the hotel.

So there ya go.... The only adventure I've had in a while. I wish my life was more exciting but right ow it's just not.

I'm fucking done

I've said it before but I swear to everything I know I'm done. Men and relationships are total bullshit. I'm destined to be single. 

I try and open up the first time in a really really long damn time. 

I was sent to a guy via a friend. 

I'm not sure where things go wrong don't know where I screw up. I don't understand. 

I wish I did I could fix it maybe. I dunno. I even told him this time to jus be fucking honest with me if he didn't wanna keep trying to fucking let me know. He didn't. It's total fucking bull shit. Men are ducking assholes and I'm soo fucking tired of trying. It's totally not fair. I deserve to be worshiped. I don't understand. Like at all. Hence the reason I'm fucking done. 

Karokee night

Another Friday night alone. Really alone. So alone the Dj skipped me out completely during one rotation. Really!? There's like 6 or 7 singers! Everyone else is singing "I love you bunches songs" while I'm singing man hating, I'm single and men are worthless. 

Just another Friday night. Just a regular Friday night. 

And so it goes..... Shit never changes. Just makes new stories

In the last several months I've paid for a singles website subscription with no results. I've kept up with the free sites with not one man with real balls to keep up and put up. 

I thought maybe recently something might work out. Except he's soooo damn shy. 4 dates. FOUR and not a kiss one. 

I got an offer from young pup biker dude for 15 minutes of fun and 30 minutes of conversation. 

Was re approached by a married guy who apparently was diddling a young filly himself only to get caught. Apparently I'm safe and seems to think I am quiet. 

I've watched some of the biggest players and douches hook up solid and even marry. 

Yet here I am..... Again at a bar 45 minutes from home.... Alone. 

Married dude at least said hi that's something I suppose. 

Was supposed to meet a douche. Yeah I did know ahead of time he's a douche but I figured a couple dances maybe a drink something besides home alone. He was supposed to show 30 minutes ago. I'm giving it another 15 before I go home and get good and drunk. 

This sucks. It sucks pretty damn bad. 

I'm so sick of waiting for my turn. 

I'm f'n DONE!

I'm done... Fuckin DONE!!!

I'm done being content being single. I'm fuckin done trying to find someone... I'm just done, which is miserable!

It's not fair! It really really isn't right or fair and I really don't want to accept that I'll just be single the rest of my life. I really want to find someone to spend my time with!

In the last 5 months I've watched some really good friends find people. I've watched the biggest ass holes, douche bags and players find people and appear to stop being the player they are. Yet I can't even get a fucking date!

What the HELL is wrong with me! Why is it so fucking hard to find someone who wants to be mine and wants me to be theirs.This month marks 11 years since my divorce. In that time, three times I've tried to make things work, not a single one of those times did that man want to hang around for anywhere close to a year.

If I can't find someone, I want to know WHY!? 

This fuckin sucks ass!

Seeking a man that can handle three nights away.

Seeking a trip companion, driver, body guard, dinner date, masseuse, boy toy, play thing… well you get the picture.

Here’ s the details:

The 2^nd weekend in March three overnights in a city not too far away.

King size bed in a decent hotel room.

Part time or full time driver, this can be negotiated.

Full time body guard, I’m kind of a big deal, I may have many fans to avoid.

Must be good with your hands, tongue, fingers and other appendages.

Must follow directions and be able to take charge when allowed and instructed.

Must be in decent shape, enough to handle the stamina of the job at hand for long periods of time.

A decent dancer would be nice in case we get the opportunity to sneak away to a dance hall.

The payment you say?

You get to hang out with ME! DUH! Oh and there’s this thing about three days of basketball. I’m sure we can find some other award for your good behavior too.

I still haven't found a man with balls

It's a new year and the WORST holiday in the year is past us. Guess what?! I'M STILL SINGLE! Nothing much new has happened lately.
Young pup biker dude has no balls to look into anything further. He's fun, the problem is he either has no interest in more than a little consensual adult entertainment every month or so or doesn't have the balls to pursue it and keep up with me.
I haven't been on a date in a really long time. Not even to gain comical stories to post here.
My best friend and partner in crime got hitched. I tried to tell her she's crazy. I really am happy for her but I lost me wing woman though and so we haven't been able to create any trouble in quite some time.
Karaoke dude has asked to come over for some entertainment and an old friend made promises to make smile before he finished but those are all short term, one night and sometimes hour promises.
I want more. I deserve more.
I really don't understand what hell I turned down. I'll be shortly celebrating my 11th anniversary of turning down that single path.
In April of 2004, my now ex husband decided he didn't want to be married any longer after putting up with me for 5.5 years and married a whole 10 months.
In 11 years....
I had a relationship lasting less than a year with my son's sperm donor in 2005 . He bailed when I found out I was pregnant.
I had a relationship that lasted about 9 months in 2009 ending shortly after the first of the year 2010.
I had a relationship that lasted about 10 months in 2012. That's IT!
Even a sane person has to ask what's wrong with them when they can't seem to find someone to hang around for anything longer than they have. Of course if history repeats itself I'm due for something that lasts at least a few months soon! It's 2015 for goodness sake.