I've decided to take a hiatus. Short or long term is yet to be determined. Life has worn me down. I'm at a point and a state of mind that I'm not comfortable with. I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of being single. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of not being touched, not being loved, not being cuddled and told I'm beautiful. The lack of that makes me a tool. A cold, empty tool, that once used is pushed aside completely.
So I'm on a hiatus. I'm going to focus on me, eating better, hopefully becoming more active and working out again.
I had made this decision and then a dude that is totally unavailble, emotionally and truly otherwise can't take a hint. He texts me. I'm good with that, passes the time, but I know he only wants one thing. I told him about my hiatus. I told him I'm a single woman and it's winter time, thus I only shave when I truly feel like it, which isn't this week. I told him him I'm a slob today. Sweats, hoodie, ball cap, hairy slob today. I also told him mother nature's preggo test had come back negative for a few days. Yet he's still trying. I even told him how desperate and easy that made him sound. Holy crap... NO!
As for how long I'm on hiatus.... Who knows. At least until someone's willing to get to know me, spend time with me and show a little more interest than just bumping uglies. Or until I just get desperate myself. Hopefully it's the former before the later.
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