So here goes:
High School: I WILL NOT state exactly how many years ago this was, but be content it was over ten years ago.
I didn't date a lot in early high school as what seemed like many of my peers did. I was kind of a nerd, more interested in my academics than boys.. I was also very self conscious. While I have never, nor will ever be a "model/Barbie/trophy girl" I was rather large in my early high school career. The last two years in high school I lost a good amount of weight and with that loss my confidence rose a bit.
I'm a country girl, always have been, always will be. I did hang around and have nearly always had more guy friends than I did girlfriends. I'm just not high maintenance enough nor drama induced to have too many girlfriends.
My first kiss was the summer before my junior year, it was a sloppy mess. He used a pretty cheesy line and went in for the kill. Afterward I still wasn't sure what all the hype was about. He was older, out of high school a year or two, from a neighboring town. We knew each other as we participated in several of the same organizations. He asked me out, I had agreed but a date never got ironed out. Every time our schedules seemed to allow a date, something came up. At the time, I had no patience, so that fizzled before it began. I hear he's happily married and running a pretty good business now.
My junior year, offered lots of flirty behavior, but I was still very innocent and naïve when it came to boys. A senior boy had captured a bit of my attention. I'd known him from elementary on. He would come in where I worked each week to cash his check. He coyly tried to get me to ask HIM to prom. I told him I wasn't asking. I also told him if he were to ask my answer would be yes. So we went. Oddly enough, my dad approved of this date. He extended my curfew pretty much without asking. My date was so nervous picking me up though, he didn't want to put my arm around me for pictures. My dad had to instruct him to do so. My dads big, ugly and pretty intimidating.
I had a great night. We went to dinner with several other people, we danced the night away at prom and after we went to his aunt's empty house. Now mind you, I was very naïve and innocent. The couples very soon after arrival at the house began pairing off. At least two of them left for other destinations, it was prom after all. We put in a movies.... Pure Country and 8 seconds. We kissed, ok we totally made out on the chair while the movie was playing in the background and everyone had left us. I totally understood the hype behind making out at that moment. He was also a perfect gentleman though, when I pulled a yellow flag and told him I had to slow down. I figured he'd haul my butt back to my parents right then. We finished the movie and I was returned home with my virtue in tack.
We actually went on several dates and generally hung out. I had a good time, but he was headed off to tech school, and I still had my entire senior year ahead of me. And ok I think the make out session made me really look around at guys for the first time. We remain friends but nothing developed further between the two of us. He did tell me a few years later, that when I was done toying with the looser I was currently dating I should call him. He's married now as well.
The fall of my senior year. I was asked out after I approached this particular guy on behalf of a very shy friend. I was surprised and very reluctant. I went to talk to him about a friend of mine, for goodness sakes. Persistence proved successful for him along with a push from said shy friend.
We went out a lunch date, "Luke" (remember I said names would be changed, this is one of them)brought roses, my birthday was a week away. I have to say he was very sweet and very much a gentleman. We started seeing each other on a regular basis. He attended events with my family and we hit it off. Looking back, I could safely say he was my first "puppy love" (do they even still call it that?). We bought each other Christmas gifts, he watched my parent's place while the family went out of state. I thought all was going to be great for a very long time between us.
Luke was a year out of school and had a full time job. It was my senior year, and I was excited about prom. I asked pretty early if he'd go with me, even though he wasn't in high school nor from the same town/school I was graduating from. He agreed, seemed we were both looking forward to prom. It would be my third school functioned dance to ever attend. I went stag to my freshman prom. I'd been to many dances hosted by some of the other organizations I was involved in and enjoyed dancing a lot, still do years later.
A week to the day before Valentine's Day, Luke dumped me... over the phone! I was devastated! I cried, I didn't eat (ok for a day, but still). I couldn't believe he had dumped me. I wanted to know WHY!!! He still agreed to go to prom though, since I'd already bought my dress and we had made those plans.
Like a goober, I let him escort me. He didn't want to go to the restaurant before prom that I wanted to go to. I think he danced ONE dance with me. He took me to a party after and left.
Between Valentine's and prom another guy showed interest in going out with me. Looking back maybe I should have taken him to prom, after all , he took me home. Again I'd found a gentleman and made it home, after my senior prom, virtue in tack. "David" and I started officially dating the next weekend. We dated for a long time after as well. He was my first real love.
Luke and I are still friends. I even called him up for a date at one point again thinking we were both single. He already had a date lined up for that particular night though. He married her and they seem very happy together.
Luke was a year out of school and had a full time job. It was my senior year, and I was excited about prom. I asked pretty early if he'd go with me, even though he wasn't in high school nor from the same town/school I was graduating from. He agreed, seemed we were both looking forward to prom. It would be my third school functioned dance to ever attend. I went stag to my freshman prom. I'd been to many dances hosted by some of the other organizations I was involved in and enjoyed dancing a lot, still do years later.
A week to the day before Valentine's Day, Luke dumped me... over the phone! I was devastated! I cried, I didn't eat (ok for a day, but still). I couldn't believe he had dumped me. I wanted to know WHY!!! He still agreed to go to prom though, since I'd already bought my dress and we had made those plans.
Like a goober, I let him escort me. He didn't want to go to the restaurant before prom that I wanted to go to. I think he danced ONE dance with me. He took me to a party after and left.
Between Valentine's and prom another guy showed interest in going out with me. Looking back maybe I should have taken him to prom, after all , he took me home. Again I'd found a gentleman and made it home, after my senior prom, virtue in tack. "David" and I started officially dating the next weekend. We dated for a long time after as well. He was my first real love.
Luke and I are still friends. I even called him up for a date at one point again thinking we were both single. He already had a date lined up for that particular night though. He married her and they seem very happy together.
David and I dated through my first year of college. I went away and lived in dorms for two semesters. We saw each other on the weekends. My third semester I actually wrapped up my associates while living at home with my parents. I landed a full time job right after finishing that semester as well, my first.
David knew I'd eventually want to get married and have kids, but he wanted to live together first. So I agreed. We lived together for over a year. Our relationship had it's rough spots but we stuck it out. I told him at the end of the first year living together that I felt we needed to take the next step and talk about getting married. I told him that was what I wanted and ultimately if he couldn't decide in 5 years of dating he wanted to marry me I needed to move on and find someone that could decide.
While I didn't get an honest down on one knee proposal, nor a ring for my birthday. He did say he didn't want to loose me and we should set a date, so we did. Seven months later, after a lot of crap (he will even admit now that he was pretty much an arse right before the wedding) we were married. Ten months more, he pretty much kicked me out and filed for divorce. He said he felt I'd forced him into marriage. Yeah he was an arse, yes he definitely could have treated me lots better (he's also admitted this later as well). But he was the first man I was with and the first real love.
That breakup was every bit as hard as being dumped just before Valentine's Day in high school. I should admit I HATE VALENTINE's DAY even today!
David knew I'd eventually want to get married and have kids, but he wanted to live together first. So I agreed. We lived together for over a year. Our relationship had it's rough spots but we stuck it out. I told him at the end of the first year living together that I felt we needed to take the next step and talk about getting married. I told him that was what I wanted and ultimately if he couldn't decide in 5 years of dating he wanted to marry me I needed to move on and find someone that could decide.
While I didn't get an honest down on one knee proposal, nor a ring for my birthday. He did say he didn't want to loose me and we should set a date, so we did. Seven months later, after a lot of crap (he will even admit now that he was pretty much an arse right before the wedding) we were married. Ten months more, he pretty much kicked me out and filed for divorce. He said he felt I'd forced him into marriage. Yeah he was an arse, yes he definitely could have treated me lots better (he's also admitted this later as well). But he was the first man I was with and the first real love.
That breakup was every bit as hard as being dumped just before Valentine's Day in high school. I should admit I HATE VALENTINE's DAY even today!
I did get over the breakup and I have every breakup. David is married with kids. His whole family including him and his new wife are friends.
I dated here and there in the 9 years since my divorce. I've actually followed a couple different avenues in pursuing available men, which has inspired this blog.
In the last nine years I've had 2-3 "relationships", none of which lasted a full year. The first was a dead end from the get go really, even if I didn't want to admit it then. "Steve" and I met at a poker table, romantic huh. I was very vulnerable, something I have to fight today. David had moved on and already remarried. That relationship with Steve brought my son, my absolute pride and joy and forever will be grateful. My son is not an accident. He is an unexpected blessing in my life. It also brought the knowledge I couldn't really deal with being in a relationship with someone that didn't work and was a bum. I was dumped at 20 weeks pregnant... over the phone. I should interject here that I'm a 100% single mom. I have been since 20 weeks, if not before. While I don't get the support, financially or otherwise, I also don't have the drama, heartache and pain in the arse that I see other parents go through.
I dated here and there in the 9 years since my divorce. I've actually followed a couple different avenues in pursuing available men, which has inspired this blog.
In the last nine years I've had 2-3 "relationships", none of which lasted a full year. The first was a dead end from the get go really, even if I didn't want to admit it then. "Steve" and I met at a poker table, romantic huh. I was very vulnerable, something I have to fight today. David had moved on and already remarried. That relationship with Steve brought my son, my absolute pride and joy and forever will be grateful. My son is not an accident. He is an unexpected blessing in my life. It also brought the knowledge I couldn't really deal with being in a relationship with someone that didn't work and was a bum. I was dumped at 20 weeks pregnant... over the phone. I should interject here that I'm a 100% single mom. I have been since 20 weeks, if not before. While I don't get the support, financially or otherwise, I also don't have the drama, heartache and pain in the arse that I see other parents go through.
The second relationship after my divorce, I started very slow and hesitantly. I met "Dan" through his parents actually. We'd gone out on a date before I started into a relationship with my son's sperm donor but didn't seem to connect at the time. We met again after my son started school. We went on dates not even holding hands for a while. It was weeks before we crossed that step and more than a month before we kissed. Within a few months after the first kiss "Gary" and I were attempting to "blend" families. This would be the first time I'd introduced my son into any relationship, and the first relationship I went into following the birth of my son.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that I was meant to enter into every experience in my life for a purpose. That would include any relationship as well. While my relationship with Dan ultimately didn't last, it was a relationship I was meant to be in. I do wish he wouldn't have chosen changing his status on facebook from "In a Relatioship with...." to single to break up with me.
I didn't date again for a long time after Dan's breakup. I worked at making myself over again. I busted my rear and ran lots of miles to drop a lot of pounds I'd put back on over the years. I was running and working out as much as 5 times a week. I ran 8 5K races in 5 months and the following year ran 16 5k races and one 10k race. I've put a few more pounds back on and am currently working on taking them back off and getting back into the workout/running routine.
I met my next relationship at the gym. He was military retired and was attending exercise classes with a cousin. We started dating and seemed to click really quickly. I learned he had four kids and met them over their summer visit. Quite a shock going from one kiddo to a total of five. I guess there were a few red flags all along, but I didn't really want to see them. "Joe" told me he had to move to a different state 1200 miles away to be near his kids and work out a better custody agreement. We attempted the long distance thing. I even visited him on a small vacation. We talked of getting married. Things seemed a bit different when I went on vacation and seemed to only go downhill after my return. Each day passed and it seemed as though he would not or could not move back. I have way to much invested where I am and too many roots to dig up and move. Nor would I have been happy living in the area he had moved to. Let alone find a good job there. Two months after returning home from my vacation we broke up via text. He blamed the break up on me, which is fine. I simply stated it wasn't fair to continue as we were to either of us.
Since that time I've gone out on a few dates. One gentlemen seemed to catch my eye, he seemed interested but nothing much has come out of it yet. He seemed to back away from any attachment thus far.
So. That puts a back story on my relationship history. In future posts, hopefully, I'll share present and past dating stories and what's going on in my world of dating today.
And since no blog post is as interesting without some images, here's a few funnies Google helped me find.
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