Tuesday, May 28, 2013

PUT A SHIRT ON AND CLEAN THE ROOM!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with dating online! Especially in this technological day and age. Here's a few tips for you guys!

See a profile that catches you're eye? Send a message! Don't hesitate, thinking they will see you're profile and make the first move. Rejection online isn't near as brutal as in person, promise!

Set up a sincere profile! Fill in the blanks or at least a few of them. I'm very much less inclined to reply if your profile is empty!


Put a decent picture on the profile. I'm going to define decent! -
        

            DON'T DO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIRROR PHOTO!!! IF THAT'S ALL YOU GOT, PUT A SHIRT ON AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM!
             OK SO REGARDLESS OF WHAT ROOM, MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
            DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU LAYING DOWN! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS! AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
            DON'T POST A PICTURE OF YOU AND A GIRL! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR SISTER OR YOUR COUSIN OR YOUR BEST FRIEND! I'M TOO CLOSE TO ARKANSAS, IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE GIRL IS! (I KNOW TASTELESS BAD JOKE). DON'T JUST CROP THEM OUT EITHER. WE CAN TELL! AND PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T BE SHIRTLESS NEXT TO A CHICK!
             ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO NOT WEAR A SHIRT INCLUDE PHOTOS AT THE LAKE/BEACH/POOL. BUT IN GENERAL LEAVE A LITTLE TO A GIRLS IMAGINATION! MOST OF US HAVE A MUCH MORE VIVID IMAGINATION THAN A PICTURE CAN ILLUSTRATE. GUYS, USE THE SHIRTLESS PHOTO AS A SECONDARY PICTURE, NOT A PRIMARY ONE!
            I UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT BE PROUD OF YOUR TRUCK, CAR, MOTORCYCLE, BOAT. IF YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF IT GREAT, AGAIN AS A SECONDARY PHOTO. IF IT'S YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO I HAVE TO QUESTION YOUR PRIORITIES. WILL I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF TO GET A RIDE TO DINNER?
            ULTIMATELY I DON'T MIND CIGARS/CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL. IT IS A BIT TASTELESS TO PUT THEM IN YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO. SERIOUSLY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CIG IN ONE HAND A DRINK IN ANOTHER?
            COMB YOUR HAIR, CLEAN UP AND MASTER THE SELFIE IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU SNAP A GOOD PICTURE!



Dating online it is important to carry out a conversation, more so than in person. You have to interest me into continuing to see what you're about!
"Hey, how ya doing? Wanna meet up?" just doesn't cut it with me. Even if you are looking for a hook up, and let's face it, a huge percentage are, you don't lead out with "let's get naked"!

Ladies, also please remember to be safe! A first meeting should be in a public place. Make sure friends know where you are going and who you are meeting. Have a full charged phone, keys easily reached and an escape plan. Ya know that emergency text you're best friend will send in case he's a douche! I've even been known to run a background search. Call me extreme but there are a LOT of freaks in this world!

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