I noticed a few facebook posts in the last 24 hours that proves I'm not the only hater in the dating world. The posts were just too well put not to share.
"Dear Males,
First off, I didn't call you men because you do not classify as such.
Please, stop asking for pictures of my THAT. Why would I have pictures
of THAT on my phone? No, I will not take a picture of THAT right now and
send it to you. And for the love of all things good and holy, I do not
want to see yours. Listen up. THOSE are like tools, like a hammer or
pliers or a screwdriver (no pun intended).
They get the job done, but aren't really good looking. Speaking of
tools, you are one if sex is your go-to topic when "getting to know" me.
Additionally, I am mildly intelligent and am incredibly turned off by
your chronic misuse of the English language. Perhaps, instead of trying
to pick me up, you should be picking up a book."
"And because I'm not done ranting...
Dear Males, Part Two:
Your generic compliments/come on lines are kind of cute, but mostly disgusting. And unbelievable. And annoying.
"Gurl, you so pretty."
"We have a connection."
"I wanna do you."
One of my favorites? - "You look really good for being 33 and having
four kids." It's usually said to me by tub o' lard who gets winded
walking up a flight of stairs, has the
facial hair of a 15-year-old, the hairline of a 60-year-old, and who
spends his weekends alternately licking Cheetos dust of his fingers and
playing Call of Duty. Like a boss.
While I'm on the topic of facial
hair, sometimes it is a neon douchebag sign. Difficult to describe, but I
know it when I see it. All women do. I must admit that I do appreciate
you guys for advertising your d-bag status on your chin/upper lip. A
huge shout out to those of you who wear your asshole badge in the form
of Affliction gear. I love being able to see and recognize your
dickheadedness from a mile away. A sincere thank you for that 'I am
douche, hear me roar, Bro.' attitude.
Lastly, I'm pretty sure none of you know how long "all night long" really is."
"P.S.
Don't even get me started on hipsters, with their declaration of "I was
doing (fill in the blank) before it was cool!". Listen, Kiddos, my
generation was shopping a thriftstores 20 effing years ago. You didn't
invent "popping tags" and you certainly didn't make it trendy. Also, no
one cares which little known and awesome as hell venue you'll be
checking into on facebook this weekend. No one. We also don't care for
your dimly lit photos from said pub/restaurant/club."
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
You're too old for me, I'm too old for you
Age is just a number. I've heard this so many times, and at a certain point and it's true. But only to a certain point.
In my mid 20's as long as they were old enough to drink it was ok, and there were few that would attract my attention if they were over 10 years older than me.
Now that I'm early to mid 30's 28 sounds young! I've been in a situation where I've been around high school youth for 15 years as a professional and I have a younger brother. Both are reasons that make me feel old and slightly inappropriate if they are younger than 28.
Even today it seems 10 years older is an understandable threshold for my attraction.
I have a theory. If you were IN high school
while I was around high school youth in a professional capacity, I'm too old for you.
Recently I proved, I'm too old. When I was younger, pulling a 24 hr. + wasn't much, I could crash for however long I needed with little or no responsibilities. Those responsibilities snuck up on me, even if I want to pull out the 24 hour fun. My girlfriend and I went to the movies recently (the only date I've had for at least two months). Afterwards she was supposed to meet with a "blind date" for a few drinks. Finding out she was with a girlfriend early in the night spurred a need for him to "find a friend" it seemed.
We agreed to head to the bar for a bit. A few drinks and a few games of pool and soon the conversation turned to a bon fire. The young punks, neither gentleman had hit the big 30 yet and hadn't even edged to 29, wanted to build one and have us sexy women around it to partake in a few cold beers.
We even debated on building a "white man's fire" or an "indian fire". For those of you that don't know, a "white man's fire" is big and hot and you have to stand back to enjoy while the "indian (or native American for you non okie, politically correct folk) fire" is small and you get close to enjoy it.
It was late already and I knew I had an early morning, but was some how convinced it was a good idea to head out to the country. An "indian fire", cold beer and conversation was a great time. Until I realized I only had enough time to shower, change and go again a full day ahead.
I'm not one to get hung over, but the next day with no sleep was rough. It took me nearly 48 hours to feel like myself again. I just don't bounce back like I used to.
In my mid 20's as long as they were old enough to drink it was ok, and there were few that would attract my attention if they were over 10 years older than me.
Now that I'm early to mid 30's 28 sounds young! I've been in a situation where I've been around high school youth for 15 years as a professional and I have a younger brother. Both are reasons that make me feel old and slightly inappropriate if they are younger than 28.
Even today it seems 10 years older is an understandable threshold for my attraction.
I have a theory. If you were IN high school while I was around high school youth in a professional capacity, I'm too old for you.
If you are too old to keep up with me, you're too old for me.
Recently I proved, I'm too old. When I was younger, pulling a 24 hr. + wasn't much, I could crash for however long I needed with little or no responsibilities. Those responsibilities snuck up on me, even if I want to pull out the 24 hour fun. My girlfriend and I went to the movies recently (the only date I've had for at least two months). Afterwards she was supposed to meet with a "blind date" for a few drinks. Finding out she was with a girlfriend early in the night spurred a need for him to "find a friend" it seemed.
We agreed to head to the bar for a bit. A few drinks and a few games of pool and soon the conversation turned to a bon fire. The young punks, neither gentleman had hit the big 30 yet and hadn't even edged to 29, wanted to build one and have us sexy women around it to partake in a few cold beers.
We even debated on building a "white man's fire" or an "indian fire". For those of you that don't know, a "white man's fire" is big and hot and you have to stand back to enjoy while the "indian (or native American for you non okie, politically correct folk) fire" is small and you get close to enjoy it.
It was late already and I knew I had an early morning, but was some how convinced it was a good idea to head out to the country. An "indian fire", cold beer and conversation was a great time. Until I realized I only had enough time to shower, change and go again a full day ahead.
I'm not one to get hung over, but the next day with no sleep was rough. It took me nearly 48 hours to feel like myself again. I just don't bounce back like I used to.
PUT A SHIRT ON AND CLEAN THE ROOM!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with dating online! Especially in this technological day and age. Here's a few tips for you guys!
See a profile that catches you're eye? Send a message! Don't hesitate, thinking they will see you're profile and make the first move. Rejection online isn't near as brutal as in person, promise!
Set up a sincere profile! Fill in the blanks or at least a few of them. I'm very much less inclined to reply if your profile is empty!
Put a decent picture on the profile. I'm going to define decent! -
DON'T DO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIRROR PHOTO!!! IF THAT'S ALL YOU GOT, PUT A SHIRT ON AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM!
OK SO REGARDLESS OF WHAT ROOM, MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU LAYING DOWN! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS! AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
DON'T POST A PICTURE OF YOU AND A GIRL! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR SISTER OR YOUR COUSIN OR YOUR BEST FRIEND! I'M TOO CLOSE TO ARKANSAS, IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE GIRL IS! (I KNOW TASTELESS BAD JOKE). DON'T JUST CROP THEM OUT EITHER. WE CAN TELL! AND PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T BE SHIRTLESS NEXT TO A CHICK!
ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO NOT WEAR A SHIRT INCLUDE PHOTOS AT THE LAKE/BEACH/POOL. BUT IN GENERAL LEAVE A LITTLE TO A GIRLS IMAGINATION! MOST OF US HAVE A MUCH MORE VIVID IMAGINATION THAN A PICTURE CAN ILLUSTRATE. GUYS, USE THE SHIRTLESS PHOTO AS A SECONDARY PICTURE, NOT A PRIMARY ONE!
I UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT BE PROUD OF YOUR TRUCK, CAR, MOTORCYCLE, BOAT. IF YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF IT GREAT, AGAIN AS A SECONDARY PHOTO. IF IT'S YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO I HAVE TO QUESTION YOUR PRIORITIES. WILL I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF TO GET A RIDE TO DINNER?
ULTIMATELY I DON'T MIND CIGARS/CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL. IT IS A BIT TASTELESS TO PUT THEM IN YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO. SERIOUSLY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CIG IN ONE HAND A DRINK IN ANOTHER?
COMB YOUR HAIR, CLEAN UP AND MASTER THE SELFIE IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU SNAP A GOOD PICTURE!
Dating online it is important to carry out a conversation, more so than in person. You have to interest me into continuing to see what you're about!
"Hey, how ya doing? Wanna meet up?" just doesn't cut it with me. Even if you are looking for a hook up, and let's face it, a huge percentage are, you don't lead out with "let's get naked"!
Ladies, also please remember to be safe! A first meeting should be in a public place. Make sure friends know where you are going and who you are meeting. Have a full charged phone, keys easily reached and an escape plan. Ya know that emergency text you're best friend will send in case he's a douche! I've even been known to run a background search. Call me extreme but there are a LOT of freaks in this world!
See a profile that catches you're eye? Send a message! Don't hesitate, thinking they will see you're profile and make the first move. Rejection online isn't near as brutal as in person, promise!
Set up a sincere profile! Fill in the blanks or at least a few of them. I'm very much less inclined to reply if your profile is empty!
Put a decent picture on the profile. I'm going to define decent! -
DON'T DO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIRROR PHOTO!!! IF THAT'S ALL YOU GOT, PUT A SHIRT ON AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM!
OK SO REGARDLESS OF WHAT ROOM, MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU LAYING DOWN! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS! AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
DON'T POST A PICTURE OF YOU AND A GIRL! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR SISTER OR YOUR COUSIN OR YOUR BEST FRIEND! I'M TOO CLOSE TO ARKANSAS, IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE GIRL IS! (I KNOW TASTELESS BAD JOKE). DON'T JUST CROP THEM OUT EITHER. WE CAN TELL! AND PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T BE SHIRTLESS NEXT TO A CHICK!
ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO NOT WEAR A SHIRT INCLUDE PHOTOS AT THE LAKE/BEACH/POOL. BUT IN GENERAL LEAVE A LITTLE TO A GIRLS IMAGINATION! MOST OF US HAVE A MUCH MORE VIVID IMAGINATION THAN A PICTURE CAN ILLUSTRATE. GUYS, USE THE SHIRTLESS PHOTO AS A SECONDARY PICTURE, NOT A PRIMARY ONE!
I UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT BE PROUD OF YOUR TRUCK, CAR, MOTORCYCLE, BOAT. IF YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF IT GREAT, AGAIN AS A SECONDARY PHOTO. IF IT'S YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO I HAVE TO QUESTION YOUR PRIORITIES. WILL I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF TO GET A RIDE TO DINNER?
ULTIMATELY I DON'T MIND CIGARS/CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL. IT IS A BIT TASTELESS TO PUT THEM IN YOUR PRIMARY PHOTO. SERIOUSLY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CIG IN ONE HAND A DRINK IN ANOTHER?
COMB YOUR HAIR, CLEAN UP AND MASTER THE SELFIE IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU SNAP A GOOD PICTURE!
"Hey, how ya doing? Wanna meet up?" just doesn't cut it with me. Even if you are looking for a hook up, and let's face it, a huge percentage are, you don't lead out with "let's get naked"!
Ladies, also please remember to be safe! A first meeting should be in a public place. Make sure friends know where you are going and who you are meeting. Have a full charged phone, keys easily reached and an escape plan. Ya know that emergency text you're best friend will send in case he's a douche! I've even been known to run a background search. Call me extreme but there are a LOT of freaks in this world!
Online dating and the Evils
I've chosen online dating in various formats over the last several years a lot. I'm still writing this blog, so thus far without much success.
I know people use the interwebs to date for a lot of reasons. Convenience of perusing profiles semi anonymously, busy schedules that don't allow for those connections to be made elsewhere, introverts too shy to pick up that conversation with strangers in public and let's face EVERYONE is online!
Me, I can't keep a straight face and my tongue in check when a cheesy or bawdy line is thrown my direction.
We've all heard them:
"Are you religious? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers."
"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes."
"Did it hurt? The fall, did it hurt? When you fell down from Heaven, because you're an angel."
Then there's the more obscene lines:
"You love George Straight right? My George is straight why don't you come love on him!"
Or better yet, just get to the point.
"How about you and I go F***?"
I'd really like to laugh in their faces at some of the lines guys use. For my entertainment at the bar I pick out a few tools to people watch. I watch them drool behind women's backs and laugh when they are turned down flat!
I also know it's not easy to pick up a conversation with a complete stranger, especially one you find attractive.
Thus the appeal of online dating.
I've tried free sites, and paid sites. I tried paying for Yahoo Personals before they merged with Match.com. That's where I found Mr. Boob Man who took me to Arby's for a lunch date and never got a call back. I went on a few dates through that site but killed the subscription pretty fast because of lack of viable dates.
Over the years I really like eHarmony. I've paid a time or two. I don't like paying a subscription, but like many things you get what you pay for. The reasons I like eHarmony was the guided communication. It allowed me to attempt to weed out the idiots. Nothing has ever come from eHarmony beyond a few dates.
I know people use the interwebs to date for a lot of reasons. Convenience of perusing profiles semi anonymously, busy schedules that don't allow for those connections to be made elsewhere, introverts too shy to pick up that conversation with strangers in public and let's face EVERYONE is online!
Me, I can't keep a straight face and my tongue in check when a cheesy or bawdy line is thrown my direction.
We've all heard them:
"Are you religious? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers."
"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes."
"Did it hurt? The fall, did it hurt? When you fell down from Heaven, because you're an angel."
Then there's the more obscene lines:
"You love George Straight right? My George is straight why don't you come love on him!"
Or better yet, just get to the point.
"How about you and I go F***?"
I'd really like to laugh in their faces at some of the lines guys use. For my entertainment at the bar I pick out a few tools to people watch. I watch them drool behind women's backs and laugh when they are turned down flat!
I also know it's not easy to pick up a conversation with a complete stranger, especially one you find attractive.
Thus the appeal of online dating.
I've tried free sites, and paid sites. I tried paying for Yahoo Personals before they merged with Match.com. That's where I found Mr. Boob Man who took me to Arby's for a lunch date and never got a call back. I went on a few dates through that site but killed the subscription pretty fast because of lack of viable dates.
Over the years I really like eHarmony. I've paid a time or two. I don't like paying a subscription, but like many things you get what you pay for. The reasons I like eHarmony was the guided communication. It allowed me to attempt to weed out the idiots. Nothing has ever come from eHarmony beyond a few dates.
Craigslist is just scary. I'll admit I tried it a time or two both posting and responding. Even logging on to the site can be a shock. I don't mind kinky but damn some of the things are plain out disgusting and degrading on there. I've answered a few ads and posted ads.
I've learned regardless of where I post to be bluntly honest in what I'm looking for. I get less freaks responding that way. I do get varied responses. Only one was vulgar and rude. Most on craigslist are older, considerably older. I've had a few younger responses and a handful of prospects my own age.
OKCUPID seems to be a pretty good site. It's free. I'm pretty selective there at who I respond to. More and more I feel like waiting to be pursued. I don't play games and don't want to play the cat/mouse thing. However, it would be nice to sit back and wait for a man to want to get to know me. There's only one problem with that. I'm sitting back counting only a few dates since the first of the year! I've had more dates with my girlfriend than a man.
I've learned regardless of where I post to be bluntly honest in what I'm looking for. I get less freaks responding that way. I do get varied responses. Only one was vulgar and rude. Most on craigslist are older, considerably older. I've had a few younger responses and a handful of prospects my own age.
OKCUPID seems to be a pretty good site. It's free. I'm pretty selective there at who I respond to. More and more I feel like waiting to be pursued. I don't play games and don't want to play the cat/mouse thing. However, it would be nice to sit back and wait for a man to want to get to know me. There's only one problem with that. I'm sitting back counting only a few dates since the first of the year! I've had more dates with my girlfriend than a man.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
You're only getting away with it because we want you too
I'm still deciding where exactly this blog should go from post to post. Who will read these posts? Will they enjoy them? Will they be shocked they know me or those I'm writing about? Most of all exactly how mad will they be discovering I'm writing about them? I've thought about sharing links to these stories more publically, but thus far have withheld that notion.
I sit here after a long hard Saturday, no running water in my entire house because of a remodel, preparing a new post. It feels good to put words down though so I guess I will continue sharing.
I remember the moment I learned that men will lie to save their tails and then kiss yours to make up for it.
I was just out of high school and working at the county fair. No! I wasn't a carney! The plan was to meet up with my boyfriend that evening after I finished working and head to the rodeo together. I hadn't heard much from him for a couple of days, but I was busy and he knew it so I really didn't think a lot about it.
When I finished I paged him, old school numerical page. We had a "code." He didn't respond and the start of the rodeo was fast approaching. I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking he either didn't get the page or was close. After 30 minutes or so I thought I'd give it another chance. The rodeo had started while I was waiting for his page and I still hadn't heard from him. I ventured out into the parking lot contemplating leaving, when I spot his truck.
I'll admit my temper flew. He rarely was without his pager on his pocket, but again before I totally blew off the handle I paged him again, watching and listening for the pager. I didn't see any sign of it and still hadn't heard from him.
I scrounged my pockets for the entry fee into the rodeo. Damned if I was going to miss it now, knowing full well he was already inside.
Sure enough, I found him near the entry gate into the rodeo arena itself. Again, not wanting to be one of "those women" that fly off the handle, create a scene jump to conclusions and whatever else, I tried again to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure the pager he had dangling form his pocket just was not working.
I pulled out the cell to dial and leave him the message and waited. Within 30 seconds he reached down to check the read out. He looked it over placed it back on his pocket and continued to watch the rodeo.
I'm pretty sure steam was boiling and nearly pouring out my ears. But I didn't create a scene at all.
I sat my sexy butt down in the bleachers next to a friend and classmate of mine. The seat just happened to be within low shouting distance to my boyfriend. The classmate knew I was upset and I explained calmly why. He didn't hesitate scouting over a bit closer to me and putting his arm around me as my boyfriend glanced up and realized it was me setting in the bleachers.
I made eye contact with the jerk only once. I put on a pretty good show of watching the rodeo for a while, before I'd had enough and exited the bleachers to head to my car.
I'd made it less than 75 yards off the last step of the bleaches before my boyfriend caught up to me. It was apparent I was pretty mad and he should have known why, but he asked anyway.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Don't baby me!" I told him I had paged him more than once in the night and never gotten a response. Forget the fact we had plans to meet and head to the rodeo
"I'm sorry, I left the pager in my truck," he tried to tell me. Steam was definitely rolling by this time.
"Don't freaking lie to me ass hole," (yes I called him that to his face) "I watched you check your pager a while ago."
He had at least attempted to appear that he didn't have the pager on his person by taking it off his pocket clip, where he normally kept it. He'd stuffed it into the inside of his pocket instead.
He spent the next week trying to kiss my ass and apologizing for being one. I forgave him.
It probably forgive too much sometimes and I trust a bit too easily. I've been lied to a lot.
I have found emails and texts to other women. One guy wanted me to believe a piece of jewelry, well two pieces, he bought be was quite the expenditure. As in special little rock on my finger. I found it online in a sale as a "promise ring" for less than $80 and if a purchase was made at a certain time a "free pink pearl bracelet" was given for each purchase. The bracelet lasted about a month before the elastic broke and the ring turned my figure black.
'
I've heard the line, "it's not you, it's me, let's just be friends." "I'm not ready for a relationship. But we can still have 'fun.'"
One line I've heard that's absolutely not a lie, "You're a great girl you deserve someone great."
I may let most of the lies slip by but no I, and most women, do have the eyes that see right through you guys' bullshit. You're only getting away with it because we want you too.
I sit here after a long hard Saturday, no running water in my entire house because of a remodel, preparing a new post. It feels good to put words down though so I guess I will continue sharing.
I remember the moment I learned that men will lie to save their tails and then kiss yours to make up for it.
I was just out of high school and working at the county fair. No! I wasn't a carney! The plan was to meet up with my boyfriend that evening after I finished working and head to the rodeo together. I hadn't heard much from him for a couple of days, but I was busy and he knew it so I really didn't think a lot about it.
When I finished I paged him, old school numerical page. We had a "code." He didn't respond and the start of the rodeo was fast approaching. I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking he either didn't get the page or was close. After 30 minutes or so I thought I'd give it another chance. The rodeo had started while I was waiting for his page and I still hadn't heard from him. I ventured out into the parking lot contemplating leaving, when I spot his truck.
I'll admit my temper flew. He rarely was without his pager on his pocket, but again before I totally blew off the handle I paged him again, watching and listening for the pager. I didn't see any sign of it and still hadn't heard from him.
I scrounged my pockets for the entry fee into the rodeo. Damned if I was going to miss it now, knowing full well he was already inside.
Sure enough, I found him near the entry gate into the rodeo arena itself. Again, not wanting to be one of "those women" that fly off the handle, create a scene jump to conclusions and whatever else, I tried again to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure the pager he had dangling form his pocket just was not working.
I pulled out the cell to dial and leave him the message and waited. Within 30 seconds he reached down to check the read out. He looked it over placed it back on his pocket and continued to watch the rodeo.
I'm pretty sure steam was boiling and nearly pouring out my ears. But I didn't create a scene at all.
I sat my sexy butt down in the bleachers next to a friend and classmate of mine. The seat just happened to be within low shouting distance to my boyfriend. The classmate knew I was upset and I explained calmly why. He didn't hesitate scouting over a bit closer to me and putting his arm around me as my boyfriend glanced up and realized it was me setting in the bleachers.
I made eye contact with the jerk only once. I put on a pretty good show of watching the rodeo for a while, before I'd had enough and exited the bleachers to head to my car.
I'd made it less than 75 yards off the last step of the bleaches before my boyfriend caught up to me. It was apparent I was pretty mad and he should have known why, but he asked anyway.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Don't baby me!" I told him I had paged him more than once in the night and never gotten a response. Forget the fact we had plans to meet and head to the rodeo
"I'm sorry, I left the pager in my truck," he tried to tell me. Steam was definitely rolling by this time.
"Don't freaking lie to me ass hole," (yes I called him that to his face) "I watched you check your pager a while ago."
He had at least attempted to appear that he didn't have the pager on his person by taking it off his pocket clip, where he normally kept it. He'd stuffed it into the inside of his pocket instead.
He spent the next week trying to kiss my ass and apologizing for being one. I forgave him.
It probably forgive too much sometimes and I trust a bit too easily. I've been lied to a lot.
I have found emails and texts to other women. One guy wanted me to believe a piece of jewelry, well two pieces, he bought be was quite the expenditure. As in special little rock on my finger. I found it online in a sale as a "promise ring" for less than $80 and if a purchase was made at a certain time a "free pink pearl bracelet" was given for each purchase. The bracelet lasted about a month before the elastic broke and the ring turned my figure black.
'
I've heard the line, "it's not you, it's me, let's just be friends." "I'm not ready for a relationship. But we can still have 'fun.'"
One line I've heard that's absolutely not a lie, "You're a great girl you deserve someone great."
I may let most of the lies slip by but no I, and most women, do have the eyes that see right through you guys' bullshit. You're only getting away with it because we want you too.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Learning how to date again
I think I've tried just about everything at some point over the last nine years.
I tried online several times using various websites. I think I tried Yahoo personals first. I attempted to remain fairly anonymous online. There are a lot of freaks out there. I've met a few of them.
I hadn't dated in over six years when my ex-husband and I split, so I was trying to learn what the rules were, dating as an adult. It was the weekend between senior prom and high school graduation, that my ex-husband and I began dating.
After getting over the initial shock of getting kicked out and an adjustment period from the divorce, I agreed to meet a guy in public for lunch from a Yahoo match. I learned my first pet peeve in the dating world on that lunch date and it has always stuck with me.
I know I have boobs. What can I say, I'm blessed, and blessed some more in that department. Honestly I also know lot of men are "boob" men. I'm perfectly fine with that fact. Glance and admire all you want boys, but seriously don't drool and by the end of the conversation, at least TRY to know what color the eyes in my head are! Poor dude didn't even get a call back after the Arby's lunch date! I don't remember him ever looking up during lunch and he wasn't staring at his roast beef sandwich.
The boob test is usually the first I pull out on a new guy, now. Figure I'd weed out the creepers and the pervs that way. I find a lower cut, though tasteful shirt that shows off the girls. I've always been a smart ass too, so I've found a few ways to put guys in their place if I need to.
One night in a bar, some lush was trying the pickup lines, though never looking above my cleavage. I let him shell out money for a few beers. As we waited for the next round to be delivered I asked him if he'd stand up and turn around, in a flirtatious way of course. Caught off guard he did as I requested. I told him if he was going to be an ass I would talk to one the rest of the night. I took the beer from the waitress and walked away.
I tried the bar scene for a while. I held a liquor license and waitressed here and there as well to cover a shift or two for friends. I knew I wasn't going to find my perfect man at a bar, but men treated it as a meat market, thought I'd give it a try. I will say that the whole beer goggles thing will play heck for whomever has them on, men or women.
The guys at the poker table weren't much better. Though technically the games were played in or next door to a bar. I went out with a guy who got attached WAY to fast. By date two, he'd sent flowers to work... awww. By date 4 he'd bought me a new rose bush.... awwww. By like date 6 or 8 he'd figured out a plan to move in together and rent out the other of our houses. What? WAIT! ummm NOOOOOO! GO AWAY! Besides he liked to drink a bit too much for me.
Following Mr. Attached Drunk, my self esteem was taking a nose dive quickly. I mean, my ex-husband dumped me before we celebrated our "Happy One Year Anniversary." I wasn't being pursued much and those that took a step in that direction were losers or had way too many issues.
I was determined not to let that low last though, besides I was going to have a baby to take care of soon by that time. Being a single mom is possibly the toughest job ever, but if you allow it to be so, it will make you a very strong woman as well.
I tried online several times using various websites. I think I tried Yahoo personals first. I attempted to remain fairly anonymous online. There are a lot of freaks out there. I've met a few of them.
I hadn't dated in over six years when my ex-husband and I split, so I was trying to learn what the rules were, dating as an adult. It was the weekend between senior prom and high school graduation, that my ex-husband and I began dating.
After getting over the initial shock of getting kicked out and an adjustment period from the divorce, I agreed to meet a guy in public for lunch from a Yahoo match. I learned my first pet peeve in the dating world on that lunch date and it has always stuck with me.
I know I have boobs. What can I say, I'm blessed, and blessed some more in that department. Honestly I also know lot of men are "boob" men. I'm perfectly fine with that fact. Glance and admire all you want boys, but seriously don't drool and by the end of the conversation, at least TRY to know what color the eyes in my head are! Poor dude didn't even get a call back after the Arby's lunch date! I don't remember him ever looking up during lunch and he wasn't staring at his roast beef sandwich.
The boob test is usually the first I pull out on a new guy, now. Figure I'd weed out the creepers and the pervs that way. I find a lower cut, though tasteful shirt that shows off the girls. I've always been a smart ass too, so I've found a few ways to put guys in their place if I need to.
One night in a bar, some lush was trying the pickup lines, though never looking above my cleavage. I let him shell out money for a few beers. As we waited for the next round to be delivered I asked him if he'd stand up and turn around, in a flirtatious way of course. Caught off guard he did as I requested. I told him if he was going to be an ass I would talk to one the rest of the night. I took the beer from the waitress and walked away.
I tried the bar scene for a while. I held a liquor license and waitressed here and there as well to cover a shift or two for friends. I knew I wasn't going to find my perfect man at a bar, but men treated it as a meat market, thought I'd give it a try. I will say that the whole beer goggles thing will play heck for whomever has them on, men or women.
Following Mr. Attached Drunk, my self esteem was taking a nose dive quickly. I mean, my ex-husband dumped me before we celebrated our "Happy One Year Anniversary." I wasn't being pursued much and those that took a step in that direction were losers or had way too many issues.
I was determined not to let that low last though, besides I was going to have a baby to take care of soon by that time. Being a single mom is possibly the toughest job ever, but if you allow it to be so, it will make you a very strong woman as well.
Putting a Jack in his place!
When my ex-husband decided he graciously didn't want to be married to me anymore I moved out of the house I'd put a good deal of money into and found an apartment with my best friend, "Sally."
Coming from a very small area, not just one town, but cluster of a few, rumors flew as I was pulling out the first load of stuff. The first rumor was that my ex had left me for my best friend. Sally had hit a sort of rough patch and had stayed with us off and on for a few weeks prior to the split.
The gossips quickly found out Sally and I moved into a shared apartment. That rumor my ex left me, quickly turned into, I left my ex for a new girlfriend. Sally and I thought it was pretty funny actually and still laugh about that today. We lived together about 8 months, then she found her a man and left me! That abandonment actually pushed me into buying my own house. I'm proud that I am a single mom working hard to provide a life for my son and I with no support elsewhere.
We had some pretty wild times before she shacked up with someone else though. We're still best friends and seem to find a way to have a wild night every once in a while.
While I wasn't an angel in high school, college and the time before moving in with my ex, I hadn't exactly sowed any wild oats either. So I guess in a way I was going to make up for that following my divorce.
I hit a local small bar on a regular basis and was rarely home on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. After all, there was pool night, karaoke night, ladies night and live band nights. I held a full time job and paid all my bills, but made sure I enjoyed myself after hours.
Most of the time Sally and I were out together. Occasionally, one of us would find someone that peaked an interest enough to go on a few dates. We'd watch each other's back all the time and hurt anyone that tried to hurt us. Well, maybe not physically, but we knew how to play Karma!
She had been seeing a guy she'd met through work. He actually seemed like a pretty nice guy. He approached the subject of maybe making things a bit more serious than casual dating. Things went smooth between the two of them for a few weeks, then it seems he got kicked in the head and forgot to call or figure out how to answer the phone. When they did talk, he was rather vague. She offered to travel to his neck of the woods about 2 hours away, he declined. After a week or two of being totally blown off she was over it and looking for new friends.
I'm guessing he got to feeling frisky, wanting to visit and just decided to "show up" from two hours away, mind you, into OUR town. I hear he drove by our house and discovered Sally wasn't crying a river over him at home. I understood he later ventured to OUR local watering hole. That particular night we'd already left the small bar for the night, really early. Sally went to hang out with a new interest and I decided I wanted to fish in a different pond and headed to a bigger bar.
Friends of ours made sure we found out he was asking around about Sally that night, and just being a general butt. Sally was just going to laugh it off. I however, decided this ass wasn't going to get away with playing my girl!
He never had my cell number, only Sally's, so I called him from my phone and flirted with him the following night. When he asked who I was and how I got his number I told him I was "Stacy" the dark headed, short girl he danced with the night before. "Honey, I can't believe you've already forgotten about me! You gave me your number and said to call you. You told me I was a great dancer and we should party again soon!"
Dumb Ass! He fell for it hook line and sinker! Damn am I good or what, I know exactly how to set a bait.
He told me he couldn't travel that far two nights in a row but "We should set up a date soon!" Gas prices were setting record highs at just under $2 per gallon at the time, so I understood not being able to travel the distance two nights in a row. We set up a future date. He said he'd be in town in a couple of weekends, he wanted to take me to dinner then dancing.
I started to feel guilty though and as the night approached, I called him. I told him things had come up and wasn't going to make the date. I called early enough to cancel as to not waste his time prepping for the date, let alone begin his 2 hour trip to town.
I was willing to call that all the fun I needed. But, dude wouldn't give up! He called back a few weeks later. I'd actually saved his number as "FU****" in my phone and was at a poker table when he called. I stepped outside to answer, "Hey sexy! What are you up to?" In the most seductive voice I could muster without doubling over with laughter. He wanted to try to set up a date again!! Sweet guy he is. He just remembers, I'm that sexy. Granted, "Stacy" that he thinks he's meeting up with, DOESN'T exist!!!
So we set a date. I really forgot about it until he called me the night of the "date" to confirm restaurant location/directions saying he was nearly to town. Again caught of guard a bit, I had to pull it together quick!
"Yes, Sugar. I'm getting all pretty now for you. I'll meet you there in about an hour!" I seriously ran into the bathroom to find Sally and told her to get her ass dressed in the best duds she had. We had a date to stand up! I quickly explained what was happening and we both rushed to get beautified.
I called Jack back, ya know JACK ASS, to tell him I was running a bit later than I thought I would curling my hair and getting dressed. I wanted to look my best for him on our date. "Why don't you go ahead and go inside and order me a glass of tea. I'll be there in about 10 minutes."
So I get Jack to drive 2 hours to meet a made up gal he thinks is hawt, sexy, a terrific dancer and I'm guessing he'd really like some action from. I then get him out of the truck, into the restaurant and order drinks.
Sally and I pull into the restaurant with a third girlfriend. We make sure he's inside. We ask the waitress to sit us at the table beside him.
The look of shock on his face was hilarious when he saw Sally walking toward him only to be seated just across the aisle from him. We all kept our act together though and enjoyed the "date". I think I saw beads of sweat just under his cowboy hat as he asked what we were up to. The ice in the tea glass set up across the booth from him was slowly melting.
"Girls' night!"
We asked what he was doing all this way down here, picking up the small talk. He replied that he was "supposed to be meeting someone."
He proceeded to pull out his cell and dial a number, frustration seriously showing on his face. My cell from deep in my pocket began to silently vibrate. The three of us girls were chatting away about our days and what we were going to do for "girls' night."
I asked him what was wrong, concern wreaking in my voice, as he audible hung up his flip phone. I was biting through the inside of my cheek to keep the smile from my lips.
"I think I'm being stood up!" He told us. Again we kept everything in check. He asked if we knew a Stacy that hung out at the local bar. He told us she had long dark hair and was kind of short about "this height." Jack seriously shows us how tall "Stacy" is.
We look at each other and think about it. "No... I don't think we do."
Jack never ordered anything beyond his drink and the tea for "Stacy" and sat there lonely through most of our meal.
He was waiting in the parking lot as we were walking out. He pulled Sally aside asked if he could talk to her.
He never knew what happened to him that night, but he did apologize for being a Jack Ass to Sally. Nothing more happened between the two of them. But us girls had the satisfaction of setting him up that night.
We laughed all the way to the bar that night and still laugh about it today. Ya don't mess with my girl!!!
Coming from a very small area, not just one town, but cluster of a few, rumors flew as I was pulling out the first load of stuff. The first rumor was that my ex had left me for my best friend. Sally had hit a sort of rough patch and had stayed with us off and on for a few weeks prior to the split.
The gossips quickly found out Sally and I moved into a shared apartment. That rumor my ex left me, quickly turned into, I left my ex for a new girlfriend. Sally and I thought it was pretty funny actually and still laugh about that today. We lived together about 8 months, then she found her a man and left me! That abandonment actually pushed me into buying my own house. I'm proud that I am a single mom working hard to provide a life for my son and I with no support elsewhere.
We had some pretty wild times before she shacked up with someone else though. We're still best friends and seem to find a way to have a wild night every once in a while.
While I wasn't an angel in high school, college and the time before moving in with my ex, I hadn't exactly sowed any wild oats either. So I guess in a way I was going to make up for that following my divorce.
I hit a local small bar on a regular basis and was rarely home on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. After all, there was pool night, karaoke night, ladies night and live band nights. I held a full time job and paid all my bills, but made sure I enjoyed myself after hours.
Most of the time Sally and I were out together. Occasionally, one of us would find someone that peaked an interest enough to go on a few dates. We'd watch each other's back all the time and hurt anyone that tried to hurt us. Well, maybe not physically, but we knew how to play Karma!
She had been seeing a guy she'd met through work. He actually seemed like a pretty nice guy. He approached the subject of maybe making things a bit more serious than casual dating. Things went smooth between the two of them for a few weeks, then it seems he got kicked in the head and forgot to call or figure out how to answer the phone. When they did talk, he was rather vague. She offered to travel to his neck of the woods about 2 hours away, he declined. After a week or two of being totally blown off she was over it and looking for new friends.
I'm guessing he got to feeling frisky, wanting to visit and just decided to "show up" from two hours away, mind you, into OUR town. I hear he drove by our house and discovered Sally wasn't crying a river over him at home. I understood he later ventured to OUR local watering hole. That particular night we'd already left the small bar for the night, really early. Sally went to hang out with a new interest and I decided I wanted to fish in a different pond and headed to a bigger bar.
Friends of ours made sure we found out he was asking around about Sally that night, and just being a general butt. Sally was just going to laugh it off. I however, decided this ass wasn't going to get away with playing my girl!
He never had my cell number, only Sally's, so I called him from my phone and flirted with him the following night. When he asked who I was and how I got his number I told him I was "Stacy" the dark headed, short girl he danced with the night before. "Honey, I can't believe you've already forgotten about me! You gave me your number and said to call you. You told me I was a great dancer and we should party again soon!"
He told me he couldn't travel that far two nights in a row but "We should set up a date soon!" Gas prices were setting record highs at just under $2 per gallon at the time, so I understood not being able to travel the distance two nights in a row. We set up a future date. He said he'd be in town in a couple of weekends, he wanted to take me to dinner then dancing.
I started to feel guilty though and as the night approached, I called him. I told him things had come up and wasn't going to make the date. I called early enough to cancel as to not waste his time prepping for the date, let alone begin his 2 hour trip to town.
I was willing to call that all the fun I needed. But, dude wouldn't give up! He called back a few weeks later. I'd actually saved his number as "FU****" in my phone and was at a poker table when he called. I stepped outside to answer, "Hey sexy! What are you up to?" In the most seductive voice I could muster without doubling over with laughter. He wanted to try to set up a date again!! Sweet guy he is. He just remembers, I'm that sexy. Granted, "Stacy" that he thinks he's meeting up with, DOESN'T exist!!!
So we set a date. I really forgot about it until he called me the night of the "date" to confirm restaurant location/directions saying he was nearly to town. Again caught of guard a bit, I had to pull it together quick!
"Yes, Sugar. I'm getting all pretty now for you. I'll meet you there in about an hour!" I seriously ran into the bathroom to find Sally and told her to get her ass dressed in the best duds she had. We had a date to stand up! I quickly explained what was happening and we both rushed to get beautified.
I called Jack back, ya know JACK ASS, to tell him I was running a bit later than I thought I would curling my hair and getting dressed. I wanted to look my best for him on our date. "Why don't you go ahead and go inside and order me a glass of tea. I'll be there in about 10 minutes."
So I get Jack to drive 2 hours to meet a made up gal he thinks is hawt, sexy, a terrific dancer and I'm guessing he'd really like some action from. I then get him out of the truck, into the restaurant and order drinks.
Sally and I pull into the restaurant with a third girlfriend. We make sure he's inside. We ask the waitress to sit us at the table beside him.
The look of shock on his face was hilarious when he saw Sally walking toward him only to be seated just across the aisle from him. We all kept our act together though and enjoyed the "date". I think I saw beads of sweat just under his cowboy hat as he asked what we were up to. The ice in the tea glass set up across the booth from him was slowly melting.
"Girls' night!"
We asked what he was doing all this way down here, picking up the small talk. He replied that he was "supposed to be meeting someone."
He proceeded to pull out his cell and dial a number, frustration seriously showing on his face. My cell from deep in my pocket began to silently vibrate. The three of us girls were chatting away about our days and what we were going to do for "girls' night."
I asked him what was wrong, concern wreaking in my voice, as he audible hung up his flip phone. I was biting through the inside of my cheek to keep the smile from my lips.
"I think I'm being stood up!" He told us. Again we kept everything in check. He asked if we knew a Stacy that hung out at the local bar. He told us she had long dark hair and was kind of short about "this height." Jack seriously shows us how tall "Stacy" is.
We look at each other and think about it. "No... I don't think we do."
Jack never ordered anything beyond his drink and the tea for "Stacy" and sat there lonely through most of our meal.
He was waiting in the parking lot as we were walking out. He pulled Sally aside asked if he could talk to her.
He never knew what happened to him that night, but he did apologize for being a Jack Ass to Sally. Nothing more happened between the two of them. But us girls had the satisfaction of setting him up that night.
We laughed all the way to the bar that night and still laugh about it today. Ya don't mess with my girl!!!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Who am I?
Creative title huh? I'm not claiming to be the best blogger in the world ya know.
I posted my last blog and I can hear a lot of people thinking out loud, "Wow, she must be some kind of witch!" or maybe a b instead of a w in that last word. Some may think I'm just hard to put up with or I'm a complete looser that just can't hold a man. Or the best yet. "Maybe she's a fat ugly grenade!"
Ok, I'm not ugly! Even if I am fat, big girls gotta love too!
Believe me that's nothing I haven't heard. It's not even statements I haven't thought to myself. Heck I've been single collectively at least 6.5 of the last nine years. I can get a man's attention, but can't hold on to it. What's wrong with me? Why have I failed so in this aspect of my life?
For the sake of my sanity I have to believe it's not me! I've heard it enough. "It's not you, it's me. Let's just be friends... with benefits???" Umm REALLY?! I'm good enough to have a little fun with but you don't want to go out to dinner or hang out at a fishing hole?
So a little about me, but only a little. I'm country, I think I mentioned that in the last post. Not country as in I buy boots too look cute and I want an urban cowboy. I'm country as in I was raised on a dirt road, I've been covered in cow manure and know my way around a stick shift and a tractor. I can bait my own hook and love to fish. Makes a pretty good dinner after as well.
I was also raised to be independent and very appreciative of that fact. I can change my own tire, break pads and oil and haul a long trailer. I have my own tool box and fix most minor issues around the house. I can't do it all and call in muscles from friends and family for big chores, like completely remodeling the bathroom. I don't necessarily NEED a man. I CAN stand on my own two feet. And as the blog title suggests, I'm content to be single. But I'm holding out hope there's a man that is for me to SHARE life with.
I'm not a girly girl and not a total tom boy. I can get dirty and like to clean up and look pretty.
I think I mentioned in my last post that I've never been, nor will be a skinny, model, Barbie kind of girl. I'm healthy and curvy. Based on this country's true average, I fit the bill. I was a fat girl, won't lie there either. I lost a considerable amount of weight, beefed up some muscles and had a healthy running/exercise program going for two years. I fell off that wagon a year ago. I put a few pounds back on. I'm working at rebuilding that running program and shedding those pounds gained in the last year and more to hit my final and ultimate weight goal.
I'm typically not a needy person. I am a girl and honestly have my moments, though that's all they are moments. I tend to move on and up really easy.
I'm laid back and truly try to take life as it's thrown at me, making the best of every day.
I know I'm stubborn and hard headed at times, but again, I'm a woman and I'm always right! Just nod you're head! Oh I can be bossy too. I'm a single mom! I'm used to being the bad guy ALL THE TIME!
I'm not the girl next door and most likely not like any other girl you've ever met, unless of course you're one of the guys mentioned in my previous post.
I posted my last blog and I can hear a lot of people thinking out loud, "Wow, she must be some kind of witch!" or maybe a b instead of a w in that last word. Some may think I'm just hard to put up with or I'm a complete looser that just can't hold a man. Or the best yet. "Maybe she's a fat ugly grenade!"
Ok, I'm not ugly! Even if I am fat, big girls gotta love too!
Believe me that's nothing I haven't heard. It's not even statements I haven't thought to myself. Heck I've been single collectively at least 6.5 of the last nine years. I can get a man's attention, but can't hold on to it. What's wrong with me? Why have I failed so in this aspect of my life?
For the sake of my sanity I have to believe it's not me! I've heard it enough. "It's not you, it's me. Let's just be friends... with benefits???" Umm REALLY?! I'm good enough to have a little fun with but you don't want to go out to dinner or hang out at a fishing hole?
So a little about me, but only a little. I'm country, I think I mentioned that in the last post. Not country as in I buy boots too look cute and I want an urban cowboy. I'm country as in I was raised on a dirt road, I've been covered in cow manure and know my way around a stick shift and a tractor. I can bait my own hook and love to fish. Makes a pretty good dinner after as well.
I was also raised to be independent and very appreciative of that fact. I can change my own tire, break pads and oil and haul a long trailer. I have my own tool box and fix most minor issues around the house. I can't do it all and call in muscles from friends and family for big chores, like completely remodeling the bathroom. I don't necessarily NEED a man. I CAN stand on my own two feet. And as the blog title suggests, I'm content to be single. But I'm holding out hope there's a man that is for me to SHARE life with.
I'm not a girly girl and not a total tom boy. I can get dirty and like to clean up and look pretty.
I think I mentioned in my last post that I've never been, nor will be a skinny, model, Barbie kind of girl. I'm healthy and curvy. Based on this country's true average, I fit the bill. I was a fat girl, won't lie there either. I lost a considerable amount of weight, beefed up some muscles and had a healthy running/exercise program going for two years. I fell off that wagon a year ago. I put a few pounds back on. I'm working at rebuilding that running program and shedding those pounds gained in the last year and more to hit my final and ultimate weight goal.
I'm typically not a needy person. I am a girl and honestly have my moments, though that's all they are moments. I tend to move on and up really easy.
I'm laid back and truly try to take life as it's thrown at me, making the best of every day.
I know I'm stubborn and hard headed at times, but again, I'm a woman and I'm always right! Just nod you're head! Oh I can be bossy too. I'm a single mom! I'm used to being the bad guy ALL THE TIME!
I'm not the girl next door and most likely not like any other girl you've ever met, unless of course you're one of the guys mentioned in my previous post.
The back story
Just to get started, I guess I'll start with a bit of back story. I'm not sure exactly where this blog will be headed, but my intention is to document dating today. The details will be absolutely true but at some point names may be changed to provide some privacy and protect the innocent or not so innocent.
So here goes:
High School: I WILL NOT state exactly how many years ago this was, but be content it was over ten years ago.
I didn't date a lot in early high school as what seemed like many of my peers did. I was kind of a nerd, more interested in my academics than boys.. I was also very self conscious. While I have never, nor will ever be a "model/Barbie/trophy girl" I was rather large in my early high school career. The last two years in high school I lost a good amount of weight and with that loss my confidence rose a bit.
I'm a country girl, always have been, always will be. I did hang around and have nearly always had more guy friends than I did girlfriends. I'm just not high maintenance enough nor drama induced to have too many girlfriends.
My first kiss was the summer before my junior year, it was a sloppy mess. He used a pretty cheesy line and went in for the kill. Afterward I still wasn't sure what all the hype was about. He was older, out of high school a year or two, from a neighboring town. We knew each other as we participated in several of the same organizations. He asked me out, I had agreed but a date never got ironed out. Every time our schedules seemed to allow a date, something came up. At the time, I had no patience, so that fizzled before it began. I hear he's happily married and running a pretty good business now.
My junior year, offered lots of flirty behavior, but I was still very innocent and naïve when it came to boys. A senior boy had captured a bit of my attention. I'd known him from elementary on. He would come in where I worked each week to cash his check. He coyly tried to get me to ask HIM to prom. I told him I wasn't asking. I also told him if he were to ask my answer would be yes. So we went. Oddly enough, my dad approved of this date. He extended my curfew pretty much without asking. My date was so nervous picking me up though, he didn't want to put my arm around me for pictures. My dad had to instruct him to do so. My dads big, ugly and pretty intimidating.
I had a great night. We went to dinner with several other people, we danced the night away at prom and after we went to his aunt's empty house. Now mind you, I was very naïve and innocent. The couples very soon after arrival at the house began pairing off. At least two of them left for other destinations, it was prom after all. We put in a movies.... Pure Country and 8 seconds. We kissed, ok we totally made out on the chair while the movie was playing in the background and everyone had left us. I totally understood the hype behind making out at that moment. He was also a perfect gentleman though, when I pulled a yellow flag and told him I had to slow down. I figured he'd haul my butt back to my parents right then. We finished the movie and I was returned home with my virtue in tack.
We actually went on several dates and generally hung out. I had a good time, but he was headed off to tech school, and I still had my entire senior year ahead of me. And ok I think the make out session made me really look around at guys for the first time. We remain friends but nothing developed further between the two of us. He did tell me a few years later, that when I was done toying with the looser I was currently dating I should call him. He's married now as well.
The fall of my senior year. I was asked out after I approached this particular guy on behalf of a very shy friend. I was surprised and very reluctant. I went to talk to him about a friend of mine, for goodness sakes. Persistence proved successful for him along with a push from said shy friend.
The second relationship after my divorce, I started very slow and hesitantly. I met "Dan" through his parents actually. We'd gone out on a date before I started into a relationship with my son's sperm donor but didn't seem to connect at the time. We met again after my son started school. We went on dates not even holding hands for a while. It was weeks before we crossed that step and more than a month before we kissed. Within a few months after the first kiss "Gary" and I were attempting to "blend" families. This would be the first time I'd introduced my son into any relationship, and the first relationship I went into following the birth of my son.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that I was meant to enter into every experience in my life for a purpose. That would include any relationship as well. While my relationship with Dan ultimately didn't last, it was a relationship I was meant to be in. I do wish he wouldn't have chosen changing his status on facebook from "In a Relatioship with...." to single to break up with me.
I didn't date again for a long time after Dan's breakup. I worked at making myself over again. I busted my rear and ran lots of miles to drop a lot of pounds I'd put back on over the years. I was running and working out as much as 5 times a week. I ran 8 5K races in 5 months and the following year ran 16 5k races and one 10k race. I've put a few more pounds back on and am currently working on taking them back off and getting back into the workout/running routine.
I met my next relationship at the gym. He was military retired and was attending exercise classes with a cousin. We started dating and seemed to click really quickly. I learned he had four kids and met them over their summer visit. Quite a shock going from one kiddo to a total of five. I guess there were a few red flags all along, but I didn't really want to see them. "Joe" told me he had to move to a different state 1200 miles away to be near his kids and work out a better custody agreement. We attempted the long distance thing. I even visited him on a small vacation. We talked of getting married. Things seemed a bit different when I went on vacation and seemed to only go downhill after my return. Each day passed and it seemed as though he would not or could not move back. I have way to much invested where I am and too many roots to dig up and move. Nor would I have been happy living in the area he had moved to. Let alone find a good job there. Two months after returning home from my vacation we broke up via text. He blamed the break up on me, which is fine. I simply stated it wasn't fair to continue as we were to either of us.
Since that time I've gone out on a few dates. One gentlemen seemed to catch my eye, he seemed interested but nothing much has come out of it yet. He seemed to back away from any attachment thus far.
So. That puts a back story on my relationship history. In future posts, hopefully, I'll share present and past dating stories and what's going on in my world of dating today.
And since no blog post is as interesting without some images, here's a few funnies Google helped me find.
So here goes:
High School: I WILL NOT state exactly how many years ago this was, but be content it was over ten years ago.
I didn't date a lot in early high school as what seemed like many of my peers did. I was kind of a nerd, more interested in my academics than boys.. I was also very self conscious. While I have never, nor will ever be a "model/Barbie/trophy girl" I was rather large in my early high school career. The last two years in high school I lost a good amount of weight and with that loss my confidence rose a bit.
I'm a country girl, always have been, always will be. I did hang around and have nearly always had more guy friends than I did girlfriends. I'm just not high maintenance enough nor drama induced to have too many girlfriends.
My first kiss was the summer before my junior year, it was a sloppy mess. He used a pretty cheesy line and went in for the kill. Afterward I still wasn't sure what all the hype was about. He was older, out of high school a year or two, from a neighboring town. We knew each other as we participated in several of the same organizations. He asked me out, I had agreed but a date never got ironed out. Every time our schedules seemed to allow a date, something came up. At the time, I had no patience, so that fizzled before it began. I hear he's happily married and running a pretty good business now.
My junior year, offered lots of flirty behavior, but I was still very innocent and naïve when it came to boys. A senior boy had captured a bit of my attention. I'd known him from elementary on. He would come in where I worked each week to cash his check. He coyly tried to get me to ask HIM to prom. I told him I wasn't asking. I also told him if he were to ask my answer would be yes. So we went. Oddly enough, my dad approved of this date. He extended my curfew pretty much without asking. My date was so nervous picking me up though, he didn't want to put my arm around me for pictures. My dad had to instruct him to do so. My dads big, ugly and pretty intimidating.
I had a great night. We went to dinner with several other people, we danced the night away at prom and after we went to his aunt's empty house. Now mind you, I was very naïve and innocent. The couples very soon after arrival at the house began pairing off. At least two of them left for other destinations, it was prom after all. We put in a movies.... Pure Country and 8 seconds. We kissed, ok we totally made out on the chair while the movie was playing in the background and everyone had left us. I totally understood the hype behind making out at that moment. He was also a perfect gentleman though, when I pulled a yellow flag and told him I had to slow down. I figured he'd haul my butt back to my parents right then. We finished the movie and I was returned home with my virtue in tack.
We actually went on several dates and generally hung out. I had a good time, but he was headed off to tech school, and I still had my entire senior year ahead of me. And ok I think the make out session made me really look around at guys for the first time. We remain friends but nothing developed further between the two of us. He did tell me a few years later, that when I was done toying with the looser I was currently dating I should call him. He's married now as well.
The fall of my senior year. I was asked out after I approached this particular guy on behalf of a very shy friend. I was surprised and very reluctant. I went to talk to him about a friend of mine, for goodness sakes. Persistence proved successful for him along with a push from said shy friend.
We went out a lunch date, "Luke" (remember I said names would be changed, this is one of them)brought roses, my birthday was a week away. I have to say he was very sweet and very much a gentleman. We started seeing each other on a regular basis. He attended events with my family and we hit it off. Looking back, I could safely say he was my first "puppy love" (do they even still call it that?). We bought each other Christmas gifts, he watched my parent's place while the family went out of state. I thought all was going to be great for a very long time between us.
Luke was a year out of school and had a full time job. It was my senior year, and I was excited about prom. I asked pretty early if he'd go with me, even though he wasn't in high school nor from the same town/school I was graduating from. He agreed, seemed we were both looking forward to prom. It would be my third school functioned dance to ever attend. I went stag to my freshman prom. I'd been to many dances hosted by some of the other organizations I was involved in and enjoyed dancing a lot, still do years later.
A week to the day before Valentine's Day, Luke dumped me... over the phone! I was devastated! I cried, I didn't eat (ok for a day, but still). I couldn't believe he had dumped me. I wanted to know WHY!!! He still agreed to go to prom though, since I'd already bought my dress and we had made those plans.
Like a goober, I let him escort me. He didn't want to go to the restaurant before prom that I wanted to go to. I think he danced ONE dance with me. He took me to a party after and left.
Between Valentine's and prom another guy showed interest in going out with me. Looking back maybe I should have taken him to prom, after all , he took me home. Again I'd found a gentleman and made it home, after my senior prom, virtue in tack. "David" and I started officially dating the next weekend. We dated for a long time after as well. He was my first real love.
Luke and I are still friends. I even called him up for a date at one point again thinking we were both single. He already had a date lined up for that particular night though. He married her and they seem very happy together.
Luke was a year out of school and had a full time job. It was my senior year, and I was excited about prom. I asked pretty early if he'd go with me, even though he wasn't in high school nor from the same town/school I was graduating from. He agreed, seemed we were both looking forward to prom. It would be my third school functioned dance to ever attend. I went stag to my freshman prom. I'd been to many dances hosted by some of the other organizations I was involved in and enjoyed dancing a lot, still do years later.
A week to the day before Valentine's Day, Luke dumped me... over the phone! I was devastated! I cried, I didn't eat (ok for a day, but still). I couldn't believe he had dumped me. I wanted to know WHY!!! He still agreed to go to prom though, since I'd already bought my dress and we had made those plans.
Like a goober, I let him escort me. He didn't want to go to the restaurant before prom that I wanted to go to. I think he danced ONE dance with me. He took me to a party after and left.
Between Valentine's and prom another guy showed interest in going out with me. Looking back maybe I should have taken him to prom, after all , he took me home. Again I'd found a gentleman and made it home, after my senior prom, virtue in tack. "David" and I started officially dating the next weekend. We dated for a long time after as well. He was my first real love.
Luke and I are still friends. I even called him up for a date at one point again thinking we were both single. He already had a date lined up for that particular night though. He married her and they seem very happy together.
David and I dated through my first year of college. I went away and lived in dorms for two semesters. We saw each other on the weekends. My third semester I actually wrapped up my associates while living at home with my parents. I landed a full time job right after finishing that semester as well, my first.
David knew I'd eventually want to get married and have kids, but he wanted to live together first. So I agreed. We lived together for over a year. Our relationship had it's rough spots but we stuck it out. I told him at the end of the first year living together that I felt we needed to take the next step and talk about getting married. I told him that was what I wanted and ultimately if he couldn't decide in 5 years of dating he wanted to marry me I needed to move on and find someone that could decide.
While I didn't get an honest down on one knee proposal, nor a ring for my birthday. He did say he didn't want to loose me and we should set a date, so we did. Seven months later, after a lot of crap (he will even admit now that he was pretty much an arse right before the wedding) we were married. Ten months more, he pretty much kicked me out and filed for divorce. He said he felt I'd forced him into marriage. Yeah he was an arse, yes he definitely could have treated me lots better (he's also admitted this later as well). But he was the first man I was with and the first real love.
That breakup was every bit as hard as being dumped just before Valentine's Day in high school. I should admit I HATE VALENTINE's DAY even today!
David knew I'd eventually want to get married and have kids, but he wanted to live together first. So I agreed. We lived together for over a year. Our relationship had it's rough spots but we stuck it out. I told him at the end of the first year living together that I felt we needed to take the next step and talk about getting married. I told him that was what I wanted and ultimately if he couldn't decide in 5 years of dating he wanted to marry me I needed to move on and find someone that could decide.
While I didn't get an honest down on one knee proposal, nor a ring for my birthday. He did say he didn't want to loose me and we should set a date, so we did. Seven months later, after a lot of crap (he will even admit now that he was pretty much an arse right before the wedding) we were married. Ten months more, he pretty much kicked me out and filed for divorce. He said he felt I'd forced him into marriage. Yeah he was an arse, yes he definitely could have treated me lots better (he's also admitted this later as well). But he was the first man I was with and the first real love.
That breakup was every bit as hard as being dumped just before Valentine's Day in high school. I should admit I HATE VALENTINE's DAY even today!
I did get over the breakup and I have every breakup. David is married with kids. His whole family including him and his new wife are friends.
I dated here and there in the 9 years since my divorce. I've actually followed a couple different avenues in pursuing available men, which has inspired this blog.
In the last nine years I've had 2-3 "relationships", none of which lasted a full year. The first was a dead end from the get go really, even if I didn't want to admit it then. "Steve" and I met at a poker table, romantic huh. I was very vulnerable, something I have to fight today. David had moved on and already remarried. That relationship with Steve brought my son, my absolute pride and joy and forever will be grateful. My son is not an accident. He is an unexpected blessing in my life. It also brought the knowledge I couldn't really deal with being in a relationship with someone that didn't work and was a bum. I was dumped at 20 weeks pregnant... over the phone. I should interject here that I'm a 100% single mom. I have been since 20 weeks, if not before. While I don't get the support, financially or otherwise, I also don't have the drama, heartache and pain in the arse that I see other parents go through.
I dated here and there in the 9 years since my divorce. I've actually followed a couple different avenues in pursuing available men, which has inspired this blog.
In the last nine years I've had 2-3 "relationships", none of which lasted a full year. The first was a dead end from the get go really, even if I didn't want to admit it then. "Steve" and I met at a poker table, romantic huh. I was very vulnerable, something I have to fight today. David had moved on and already remarried. That relationship with Steve brought my son, my absolute pride and joy and forever will be grateful. My son is not an accident. He is an unexpected blessing in my life. It also brought the knowledge I couldn't really deal with being in a relationship with someone that didn't work and was a bum. I was dumped at 20 weeks pregnant... over the phone. I should interject here that I'm a 100% single mom. I have been since 20 weeks, if not before. While I don't get the support, financially or otherwise, I also don't have the drama, heartache and pain in the arse that I see other parents go through.
The second relationship after my divorce, I started very slow and hesitantly. I met "Dan" through his parents actually. We'd gone out on a date before I started into a relationship with my son's sperm donor but didn't seem to connect at the time. We met again after my son started school. We went on dates not even holding hands for a while. It was weeks before we crossed that step and more than a month before we kissed. Within a few months after the first kiss "Gary" and I were attempting to "blend" families. This would be the first time I'd introduced my son into any relationship, and the first relationship I went into following the birth of my son.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that I was meant to enter into every experience in my life for a purpose. That would include any relationship as well. While my relationship with Dan ultimately didn't last, it was a relationship I was meant to be in. I do wish he wouldn't have chosen changing his status on facebook from "In a Relatioship with...." to single to break up with me.
I didn't date again for a long time after Dan's breakup. I worked at making myself over again. I busted my rear and ran lots of miles to drop a lot of pounds I'd put back on over the years. I was running and working out as much as 5 times a week. I ran 8 5K races in 5 months and the following year ran 16 5k races and one 10k race. I've put a few more pounds back on and am currently working on taking them back off and getting back into the workout/running routine.
I met my next relationship at the gym. He was military retired and was attending exercise classes with a cousin. We started dating and seemed to click really quickly. I learned he had four kids and met them over their summer visit. Quite a shock going from one kiddo to a total of five. I guess there were a few red flags all along, but I didn't really want to see them. "Joe" told me he had to move to a different state 1200 miles away to be near his kids and work out a better custody agreement. We attempted the long distance thing. I even visited him on a small vacation. We talked of getting married. Things seemed a bit different when I went on vacation and seemed to only go downhill after my return. Each day passed and it seemed as though he would not or could not move back. I have way to much invested where I am and too many roots to dig up and move. Nor would I have been happy living in the area he had moved to. Let alone find a good job there. Two months after returning home from my vacation we broke up via text. He blamed the break up on me, which is fine. I simply stated it wasn't fair to continue as we were to either of us.
Since that time I've gone out on a few dates. One gentlemen seemed to catch my eye, he seemed interested but nothing much has come out of it yet. He seemed to back away from any attachment thus far.
So. That puts a back story on my relationship history. In future posts, hopefully, I'll share present and past dating stories and what's going on in my world of dating today.
And since no blog post is as interesting without some images, here's a few funnies Google helped me find.
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